Friday, January 4, 2013

A Moment ~*Within*~ Introduction to Imelda Frances Burnadette Maguire


~*Celebrate Life and Love*~



The Loft


~ Timeless Expression Studio ~

October 2007 ~ March 2016 

Historical Alger Press

Durham Region Ontario

Photo bStephen Cormack



Long Time Meditation Music for the Heart Chakra by Pablo Arellano




From time to time I gaze out the window... dreaming of days that are gone forever and of those yet to come.


I wonder

Is it in the reflections of the past that are met with the wanderings of the soul in a given moment of time where our dream truly begins?


Might it be a discovery of who we were then, long ago where we are only now bearing the fruit of what was or is to be?


I wonder, and dream about never ending Love within every waking moment of the day.


I wonder ~ and then I dream ~ do you?





~  North Wood ~




Quote from Saint Germaine



Choose intend, it will be done

Repeat that with us

Choose intend, it will be done



Remember that

A clear choice, clear intention



It is impossible to stop it manifesting

Impossible!



It will only stop when you change your intent or you choose otherwise


And


If your intentions and choices do not manifest
It is because you have changed your mind


You have changed your intent.


No way around this!





We are all the lover and  the dreamer!







~ Imelda Frances Burnadette Maguire ~

Toronto Pictures
2009

Photo by Bruno Pischiutta





I DREAM...

One day, everyone will discover 

The magnificence you are ~ I am

Found in the True Authentic Self of precious Unconditional Love



I Dream...

One day, everyone will discover 

The radiant being you are ~ I am…

Found in the true Authentic Self of precious Unconditional Love




I Dream...

One day, the entire universe will discover

The pure sweet Love found in the True Authentic Self.



I Dream...

That the Divine Glow in you and me

Will one day flow sweet and free through the heart

Authentically from one to another 

Through Eternity




When the higher emotions are conscious, there is real peace, love, and joy found within us all always, and in abundance.





Let us all walk toward our beautiful morrows together!




FIRST THE GESTURE

THEN THE GRACE

In Search of Self



Enter The Millennium



The following notes were written by Imelda during time spent on the Psychiatric ward of the Oshawa General Hospital shortly after the grand event of time; New Year Eve of the Millennium.   



Diagnosis: 

Bipolar with a psychotic twist;  Disassociation





~ Shattered Dreams ~


Imelda FB Maguire
  Self Portrait

Oil on canvas 40 x 60 1992

Private Collection of  Canadian Mental Health Center
  Minden Ontario 




The Notes:

I am on my tenth different psychotropic cocktail to stabilize mood swings. 
  
The drug of the day is Lithium.  

Numb am I,  lost in a dark place with nothing to recognize as self to grab on to and hold tight, so as not to sink further into this dark abyss of lifelessness.  



The question asked of the patients attending the workshop today is;




Who have we become and why?


Sitting here in the hospital recovery workshop not caring at all whether I live or die, I pray without end to the Heavenly Father for the sensitivity to hear the promptings of my soul;




Who am I?

Why would I even care, knowing full well that the right answer will be the only way out of this dark and empty place of hollow living?




There is pen and paper in hand, so I might just as well begin this writing exercise.

    




Drawing by Imelda FB Maguire

Recovery Workshop
 Oshawa General Hospital 
3G Wing
 February 2000  



I know there is a pattern of some electrical nature, so I search somewhere for a missing sequence, keep it simple stupid.  There is only black inside, so I resist and go the other way.


A speck of color draws me in so I follow and chase the hue, only to arrive back to where the pigment began to the place where only darkness lives.



Oh Heavenly Father


Let there be light


The medication makes it so hard to think, so hard to do anything at all let alone think or feel or see the light of joy that once was and is now lost when all I really want to do is to be left alone to sleep that forever deep sleep.


Now… yes, I think I have lost the land of Now!


A wee flurry flickers inside somewhere behind my breast but it is not mine.   I raise my hand to see who is there.  A gentle little whisper of a thing touches my cheek.  I accept this gift, the tears fall. 


Only a mad stroke appears when I put pencil to paper…  I let it go, perhaps we can talk again another day.


The mouth is so dry.


Colors most pale with shapes are there today.  I wait for something to stay… for at least a short while yet still the pigment and shapes flutter pale.


Wait! something looks for me ~ what is one to expect from the self?  ~ Soul hides.  


O'h my, how the brain hurts as I search ~ keep it simple stupid!


Nowhere is there a brush stroke ~ nowhere is there a color or a hue.


Life is at the best ~ flat
Nothing seems to matter much at all anymore.  There is no interest in even the searching.

So then, it has come to that!

There is no point in describing this painless pain.
I pray and I pray.


Please God take me home.


Twinkle, twinkle, little star

How I wonder who you are


The blank clean page speaks to this unrivaled mystery.  Here in this blank and clean place, I can stay in between ~ in the land of Now ~ safe ~ from a world so full of fractured shattered dreams.


There must be more space for these broken pieces to find their rightful place within ~ the mind can no longer breathe.


Displacement of self has arrived!
Here, in the land of now, there is all this time to listen to the whispers of my heart, I miss the authentic self that it seems I never really knew.


I must let the past go...
Oh… to be independent when there is not a thing that is truly your own, surely this must be the Lord’s test!
Remember I must ~ be grateful for all heart's desire, a lesson learned.
This must be the hold to keep the soul alive, that I might feel the map to my own truth within as my friend ~ lest I become lost ~ forever ~ to the wild rushing noise on the outside.

What planet am I on?

Fragments of this and that have disassociated themselves from one another.  They seem to be running rampant like a wild child without a destination and have gone pale beyond the boundaries of the whole.  I wish I understood how the boundaries got there in the first place.

Life is easier, safer, and more loving without these internal boundaries that appear so very strange and dark to my heart. Why won't these things talk ~ with all my might I wish they would, just so one might know where to begin again.


I am afraid ~
It must be for the self to stay inside where it is safe to accumulate again these missing pieces.  If one cannot, at best then, I can enjoy the numbness and this rest.

But... for how long will I be left here in this darkness without end?

The past is gone now,  never to come back, I know this to be true.
The future will always be unknown, I do not have a crystal ball ~ so the only thing left is ~ here ~ within this incredible empty Now that appears so full.


When I do look back it seems it was always about the work of exploring more how life is lush and ripe like fruit, sweet and ready to eat on the vine.  How could one survive such an Eden just to arrive at this pointless end?  


Bliss is lost ~ 


Yes, lost am I ~ tumbled upon the ground, then get lost again ~ tumbling over and over and over. It takes all effort to make it through this damn day program without a voice. When I do hear it, the voice is not mine, someone else has taken my place and they are nervous like a fearful child, removed am I from this place on earth where another acts the part of my own composition in life.



I know there was Bliss ~ I know it ~ so I search and feel for the Bliss that waits silently in great anticipation for the real self to return.


And now herein lies the secret;


It is only with the heart

That one can see rightly what is essential

What is invisible to the eye



And so float eye

This lotus on a pond

To where I do not know
  


Life is but a tiny ripple

That a gentle breeze does blow

Upon the waters top



 It is not where this breeze may wake

But only our self out of life what we make



Oh… but to float with He

Upon the watered tide

Inside the land of now

Where everything hides 

From those empty things on the outside



It is only within the Divine of the moment

That there is Life in the land of now



And so float eye 

This lotus on a pond



To where I do not know



~ Flowering Almond~ 





The Sharing of Hidden Truth

November 15 2009





True love began to heal itself with the writing of the soul thoughts during the Millennium time spent in the healing workshop on 3G main with a healing that continues through to this day.



Indeed it took the complete collapse and folding of the self upon itself to come through the other side of darkness only to fall in love with that fearful dark in order to realize the brilliance of Light through the creative being of the very soul that had never left. 



Our most precious and perceived commodity of time controls that function of relationship building with our self and has now become solely governed by the value of a dollar.  The external quest to gain equity by owning more material things is the very thing that will drive one to madness as we strive endlessly to find more time to do just that, own more of everything.



Self-awareness expressed and experienced through art is the personal truth set in opposition to the non-truths that continue to rise up in ebb and flow through our daily life.



The function of art to me is to bridge the distance between the most intense state of feeling and our impersonal human existences that we know them to have been while living here on this earthly soul plane.  The artwork is a personal attempt to express outwardly the relationship we have of our self within modern society through this lifetime, then to do so with a grand Grace.




My travels in creativity have led me increasingly toward a conscious awareness as a means to search out and hold one's own truth as the gift to saving our sanity in a world conflict, confusion, fear hunger and war.



The work for me is an attempt to provoke the viewer into silent contemplation of whom and what we really are.  It poses questions directed inward, questions that are the most unavoidable in the search for self-recognition and acceptance, self-respect and intelligent self-consciousness.



Technically through the freedom of artistic expression, the intention is to bring the viewer into the world of the soul by concentrating on simplicity of shape, movement and rhythm through ethereal qualities accomplished by the use of light passing through vapors of pigment.



The work is mostly sensual rather than intellectual.  It is my personal attempt to thrive in the expression of spirituality.  It is here that there is the awareness of our individual completely true nature, the totally abstracted elements of undefined mind ~ Reality ~ outside of our own beingness. 



For most, this attempt would be a deeply personal journey that celebrates the wholeness of the heart and soul as we live and survive on flourishing earth.




There is always an element of fear or apprehensive to start something new that we want to make very good, true, and serious.  The search for knowing more, is a sacred adventure.  



Russian Writer Vladimir Nabokov tells us:


“There is a miraculous feeling of the words being there written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible.”





True adventure starts with desire, inclining one to enter the unknown internal world of the heart in all its many wondrous facets that will indeed leave us breathless and in delight of our true self.



Be awake to your life

Then


Rise to inspire others 

To be the best that they can be




~ Flowering Almond ~



~*LOVE ALWAYS*~

Imelda